Entering the room, Kimberly took a seat near the front. I am so nervous, she thought as she sat down and then withdrew a notebook and pencil from her backpack. My first day of college classes. This is so exciting. I wonder what the teacher is going to be like?

The conversation in front of her disturbed Kimberly's thoughts. Being new to Rainier and eager to pick up on any of the latest gossip, she leaned forward slightly, then panicked when the seat began to tip over.  Jerking backwards, she slammed into the desk behind her. Hearing several books hit the floor; she glanced over her shoulder and saw the angry expression of the girl sitting behind her. Kimberly blushed and then uttered a soft, "I'm sorry." Turning around, she found herself scrutinized by the people on whom she had been eavesdropping. Shrugging her shoulders, Kimberly quickly opened her book and pretended to read.

Apparently deciding that the strange person behind them wasn't important, the rather athletic looking guy turned to face the blonde sitting beside him. "Did you hear what happened yesterday, Joann?"

"Just bits and pieces," she answered. "Why? Do you know anything?"

"Well, I heard the story from my roommate's girlfriend's friend who heard it from a guy who was actually there," the guy replied.

Rolling her eyes, the woman flipped her hair back and said, "So what are you waiting for, Mark? Tell me already."

"Okay, are you ready for this?" Seeing the exasperated glance that was directed his way, Mark began, "What I heard is that he was in the library doing some research..."

"Wait a minute," Joann interrupted. "I heard that he was in his office."

"No, I swear this guy I heard it from wouldn't jerk me around. He said that the guy he heard it from was there and that it happened in the library," Mark assured her.

"All right, fine," Joann conceded. "He was in the library."

"Year, like I was saying, he was in the library. And he was on a ladder getting some kind of book off of the top shelf. Anyway, he was reaching for the book when that guy that's always hanging around him showed up."

"Ooh," Joann sighed. "You mean that big guy?" Seeing Mark nod, she continued, "That guy is just so sexy."

"Yeah, right," he sarcastically replied.

"He is," she insisted. "I don't even mind that he's a cop. He can frisk me anytime."

A cop? Kimberly wondered. Who would a cop be coming here to see?

Turning her attention back to the people in front of her, Kimberly heard Joann add, "But don't get me wrong, I mean I really like the cop, but Mr. Sandburg isn't that bad himself. I would kill for hair like that. And that mouth. Oh my God! It should be a sin for a guy to have a mouth like that."

So, Kimberly finally figured out, they're talking about Mr. Sandburg, the guy who's supposed to be teaching this class.

Kimberly quickly turned back into the conversation when she caught the word 'gay' being mentioned.

"I swear it's true," Mark said, "they're lovers."

"Yeah, right," Joann scoffed. "Like I'm going to believe that."

"Why else would they always be hanging around each other?" Mark argued. "You can't seriously believe that shit about Sandburg working with the cops. Like they would let him anywhere near them."

"Hey," Joann protested. "I know what he works with the cops."

"How?" Mark asked.

"Well, you know Marsha, my roommate? Okay, her cousin's friend's boyfriend's sister was robbed," Joann explained. "When she had to go down to the station for a lineup to ID the creep that mugged her, she saw Mr. Sandburg there. He was talking and laughing with some cops. Then she heard that big cop - his name is Ellis or something, I think - come up and tell Mr. Sandburg that they had to go interview some witnesses. Then he called Mr. Sandburg 'Chief'."

Seeing Mark's disbelieving look, Joann insisted, "It's true. She heard it. And do you rally think 'Chief' is a nickname that someone would give a lover? Get real. Besides, I've heard some of the TAs talk about Mr. Sandburg. No way is he gay. And that cop... never in a million years, man."

"Whatever," Mark said. "Anyway, Sandburg was getting a book off the top self when the cop came over to him. He yelled something like 'Hey, Sandburg', which caused Sandburg to start to fall off the ladder. So Sandburg grabs hold of the ladder with one hand and grabs hold of the shelf with the other hand. The book Sandburg was reaching for falls and lands on the cop's foot. Seems the cop couldn't catch it because he had his hands on the ladder trying to hold it steady. When the book hit his foot, the cop let of the ladder and started hopping up and down on his good foot while yelling and screaming at Sandburg. Well, Sandburg loses his grip and falls of the ladder and then..." Trailing off, Mark began to laugh. "Oh, you won't believe this part."

While Joann reached over a hand to slap Mark upside the heard, Kimberly sat there in stunned amazement. Looks like I picked an interesting school to come to, she thought.

Hearing a whack, Kimberly looked on as Mark rubbed the back of his head. "Ow! What did you do that for?"

"Cause you're acting like a stupid jerk. Finish the story."

"All right, already," Mark whined. "Geez, you didn't have to hit me."

"Unless you'd like a repeat occurrence," Joann warned, "I'd suggest  you start talking."

"Okay. Where was I?" Mark wondered. "Oh, yeah. Sandburg falls off the ladder, and I don't know how the cop knew Sandburg was getting ready to fall, but he just plants his feet and holds his arms out. Sandburg lands in the cop's arms, causing the cop to fall backwards and Sandburg to land on top of him. So the cop is just lying there on the floor and Sandburg is just lying on top of the cop. And then Sandburg just looks down at the cop and asks, 'So what did you need, Jim?'."

"No way."

"Yes," Mark asserted. "I swear to God. It's the absolute truth. Well, according to this guy, at least."

I can't wait for this Mr. Sandburg to show up, Kimberly thought. Looking up as a new student entered the room, Kimberly's mouth dropped open as she caught sight of the guy. Oh my God! He is absolutely gorgeous. I wonder if he'll sit next to me. Oh, please sit next to me. Kimberly continued to stare at the newcomer as he proceeded to walk over to the podium at the front of the classroom. Oh no way. This guy can't be Mr. Sandburg, can he?

"Good morning, class," the man behind the podium greeted them. "I'm Blair Sandburg and this is Anthropology 101. I'll start by calling roll, okay? Just raise you hand and say 'here' when I call your name."

He is Mr. Sandburg! Kimberly exclaimed to herself. I must have done something very good in a previous life to wind up being in his class. Thank you, God. So caught up in her thoughts, Kimberly almost missed her name.

"Kimberly Korman," Blair repeated. "Is there a Kimberly Korman here?"

"Oh! Yeah," Kimberly nearly yelled as she waved her hand in the air. "Here." Catching sight of the smile Blair directed her way, Kimberly nearly slid out of her seat.

Never taking her eyes off of Blair, Kimberly nearly jumped out of her chair when the door slammed open and a man barged into the room. What is that strapped to his chest? she wondered. Oh my God! That looks like dynamite!

Stunned, she watched as the man went over to Blair and grabbed fistful of his hair. Concerned for her teacher's safety, Kimberly was surprised when Blair didn't even seem to be fazed by this turn of events.

Mouth gaping, she couldn't believe it when he simply said, "Do you mind? I mean do you honestly think that my hair just automatically looks like this when I wake up in the mornings? Do you realize how much time and effort I put into getting it to look this way? So do me a favor, would ya? Keep your hands off the hair, all right?"

He's freaking crazy, she swore to herself. And I'm talking about Mr. Sandburg here, not the human firecracker over there. He's going to get us killed. Oh God, we're dead. I'm going to die! Why did I have to pick Anthro 101? I should have stuck to something simple like astrophysics. But no, I had to pick this. I mean I only signed up for this class because that cute guy in line ahead of me did. Now I'm stuck in here with an insane, but completely scrumptious, teacher and a guy wearing a bomb. And to top it all off, that cute guy isn't even in here. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Berating herself for once again allowing a guy to affect her judgment, Kimberly continued to observe the saga unfolding in front of her. She watched as Blair pushed the man away from him and asked, "Okay, how do you know Ellison? C'mon, I know this has to be connected to him. I mean, shit like this never happened to me before I met him. And you know what really pisses me off? Huh? Do you? They call me the 'trouble magnet'. Me! Can you believe that?"

Gasping, Kimberly looked on as the man backhanded Blair across the face. Hearing the indignant cry of "Hey, stop that," from that guy named Mark sitting in front of her, she flinched as the man then turned and yelled, "Shut up, little man, and maybe you won't leave here in a body bag."

"That's enough!" Blair shouted and then went over to stand between the bomber and his students.

Impressed by the show of bravery, Kimberly was once again shocked by her teacher's actions. I can't believe the way he's standing up to this guy. You'd think this kind of thing happens to him all the time.

"Look, man," she heard Blair say. "I don't know what your deal is, but don't be threatening my students. I mean it.  You deal with me and leave them out of it."

"Fine," the man responded as he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Blair. "You do exactly what I say and no one gets hurt."

Catching the phone, Blair flipped it open and sarcastically replied, "Well, gee, I wonder who you want me to call. Could it be, oh let me see, a guy named Jim Ellison?"

"Just dial the fucking phone, genius."

"Fine," Blair responded as he dailed the phone. After a few seconds, he spoke into the phone. "Hey, Jim, it's me. Yeah, I know. Would you just... Hey, let me... But, Jim..."

Bewildered, Kimberly saw Blair slam the phone shut. Not knowing whether to feel bemused or worried, she watched as he then began to pace. Straining, she was barely able to hear the uttered words, "I swear, he is such a jerk sometimes. I don't know why I put up with this. I can't believe him."

"Hey," the bomber yelled, trying to gain Blair's attention. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Kimberly looked on as Blair turned to the bomber and shouted, "What?"

Appearing somewhat startled, the bomber stammered, "W...well, what did he say?"

"'What did he say?'" Blair repeated. "I'll tell you what the stupid jerk said. His exact words were - are you paying attention here?" Seeing the man's nod, Blair continued, "He said, and I quote, 'I'm busy, Sandburg. Simon is treating me to lunch at Wonderburger. I'll call you back later'."

Staring at the speechless bomber, Blair continued to rant. "Yeah, that's what I thought. See the kind of person you're dealing with here? Trust me on this, man. Whatever beef you've got with Ellison is so not worth it. I should know. I live and work with the guy. Trust me on this. He's a self-centered, egotistical, insensitive, rude, obnoxious jerk!"

"Look -" the bomber began.

"Did I look like I was finished?" Blair demanded as he whirled around to stare at the bomber. "Well, I asked you a question. Answer me. Did I?"

"Wait a minute here -"

"No," Blair interrupted as he stormed over to the bomber and stuck his finger in the man's face. "You wait a minute. I mean, talk about Ellison being rude, what about you? Huh? I mean, you waltzed in here with that... that contraption strapped to you. Come in here scaring my students and making all kinds of demands. Talk about inconsiderate. I mean, do you even have a brain in that head of yours? Do you even stop to think about how your actions will affect other people? Did you? Huh?"

Receiving no answer, Blair continued to attack the man verbally. "That's what I thought. You know what, you psychotic lunatics are all the same. Always thinking about yourselves. It just makes me sick."

What is up with this guy? Kimberly wondered as she sat there, mesmerized by Blair's tirade. Does he have some kind of death wish or something? What kind of idiot would piss off a guy wearing a bomb? I don't care how cute  he is, there has got to be something wrong with him.

Startled, Kimberly jumped when she heard the bomber's shout of "Enough!" Trying to determine exactly when she had started to become more worried by her teacher's behavior than by the bomber's, she watched the bomber walk over and take the cell phone away from Blair.

Hearing Blair's questioning, "What the hell?!?" she continued to watch the bomber as he proceeded to dial the phone.

Surprised, she saw him put the phone to his ear and say, "Hello, Cascade PD? Yes, this is Douglas Smith. Detective Jim Ellison arrested my brother last week for armed robbery. Well, anyway, I wanted  my brother released, so I showed up at Blair Sandburg's class with a bomb thinking I would hold him and his students hostage until my brother was released and ... What? Oh, no, they're fine. No. No, nobody's hurt. See I changed my mind because this Sandburg guy is a total nutcase. Man, I thought Ellison was bad, but this guy is something else. If you ask me, they deserve each other. What? Sure, okay."

Holding the phone out to Blair, he said, "She wants to talk to you."

Taking the phone, Blair put it up to his ear as he watched the other man proceed to take off and disarm the bomb.

"Hello? Yeah, this is Sandburg? Who is this? Oh, Sherry. Hi. Are we still on for Friday night?"

What? Kimberly screamed to herself. He's asking about a date! This guy is absolutely certifiable. I wonder if he's just been like this since he started hanging out with cops. God, I hope so. Otherwise, I feel extremely story for his parents. Kimberly stared at Blair as he continued to talk on the phone.

"Yeah, Sherry, everything seems to be fine now," Blair reassured the officer. "I'm serious. The guy's disarming the bomb as we speak. What? Well, I hope so. Just a minute and I'll ask." Turing his attention back to Smith, Blair asked, "Hey, man, you, like, do know how to disarm that thing, don't you? I seriously don't want to get blown up. Especially since Sherry finally agreed to go out with me. I actually scored some tickets to the opera. I hate it, but she loves the stuff. It should score me some big points, if you know what I mean."

"Don't worry about it, kid," Smith replied. "I work demolitions for a construction company."

"Cool."

'Kid'? Kimberly wondered. 'Cool'? What? are these guys like best friends or something now? I don't fucking believe this. Placing her elbows on the desk, Kimberly leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. God, what a headache! Somebody in here better have some damn aspirin.

Sighing, Kimberly peeked through her fingers and noticed that Blair had ended his phone call and was now helping that Smith guy take off the bomb. "I really am sorry about this," Smith said. "Really, I am. I don't know what came over me."

"Hey," Blair consoled, "you were just trying to take care of your family, man; although you did pick the absolutely worse way to go about it. I'm sure everything will work out fine."

"You really think so?"

"I'm positive," Blair response as two uniformed officers entered the room. "Adam, Don," he greeted. "Thanks for coming so fast. This is Douglas Smith. But go easy on him, okay? He's had a rough day."

Kimberly watched on in disbelieve as the two officers then politely escorted the bomber out of the room.

Startling everyone in the room, including herself, Kimberly found herself standing and shouting. "He's had a rough day?!?" Laughing, she continued, "I can not believe this. This is nuts. What kind of school is this anyway? What kind of teacher are you? Are you crazy? Is everybody here totally nuts? This guy had a bomb for crying out loud. We were held hostage. Doesn't anybody else realize that? What is wrong with you people anyway?"

Exchanging glances, Mark and Joann turned to look at the irate woman behind them. "Hey, just calm down," Joann said.

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "It's not like we were in any real danger or anything."

Filled with disbelief, Kimberly replied, "Not in any danger? Are you serious? That guy had a fucking bomb! Of course, we were in danger!"

"Not really," Joann protested.

"Oh yeah, you bleached-blonde nitwit," Kimberly yelled into the other woman's face. "Well I, for one, was scared out of my mind. Like any rational person would be. So please enlighten me. Why weren't we in any danger?"

Rolling her eyes, Joann replied, "Because this is Mr. Sandburg's class, and he's used to dealing with shit like this. Now, if it had been Mr. Jackson teaching this class, then I would have been worried."

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "Now that guy would have totally freaked out. That reminds me, did you hear about that time he was in a convenient store and someone tried to rob the place...?"

"I thought it was a restaurant," Joann protested.

"No," Mark disagreed. "I heard about it from my brother's friend's sister's boyfriend who knew a guy that worked there and..."

Screaming, Kimberly picked up her backpack. "That's it! I am out of here. You guys are completely mental. I am getting away from all of you freaks. This isn't  a school; it's an insane asylum." Mumbling something about getting a refund on her tuition and joining a convent, Kimberly stormed out of the room.

Raising his eyebrows, Mark asked, "What's her problem?"

"Forget her," Joann replied. "I just knew that girl wasn't right the second I laid eyes on her. Geez, what a weirdo."

After watching the girl storm out of the room, Blair walked over to stand in front of the podium again. Looking down at his roll, he picked up a pen and marked through the name Kimberly Korman. "All right. Now, then, where were we? Okay. Joann Masters."

The End