Sentinel Too: The Healing
Disclaimer: Okay they are not mine the characters Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg belong to pet fly productions and this is written strictly for my dues not for money.
After seeing The Sentinel Too part two againÖguess what? Here we go again. Also I know nothing about medical procedures so donít get upset if something doesnít seem right.
Jim Ellison sat at his computer trying to complete the report he was typing on but could not seem to get past it. They have been back from Mexico for almost two weeks now and he had still not had a chance to talk to Sandburg. Okay Iím a coward, I admit it but I have to find some way to patch things up or I just might lose my best friend the thought was going through his head all day. But he didnít know how to fix this. Sandburg was the one who was good with words and he wasnít talking much. No correction, he wasnít talking at all. He spoke only when spoken to he came in and typed reports and continued to help Jim at his Job and truth be known Jim didnít even know where the kid was living. He knew that he wasnít feeling well he could see it. He was pale and shaky and he could feel the heat coming from him as he was getting a fever. It was a slight fever but Jim knew the kid was sick and yet he didnít say a word to Jim. Oh he had asked Jim about certain information that he needed to finish a few reports. Simon had him on desk duty until he felt Blair was well enough to go back into the field, but that was it, no how was your day or Jim you have no idea how my day was at the U. He didnít realize how much he missed the younger manís chatter and he saw his friend slipping away from him. He knew that Sandburg would help him with his senses and he always helped him at work but he didnít know how to start how to fix things between them. Now the kid was sick, no he never really recovered and I dragged him all over Mexico knowing he had just drowned and didnít ask him once how he was feeling. Then he saw me kiss Alex, not once but twice. I donít know what it was. It was like I had to protect her, help her. Christ Ellison you really are a piece of work.
He watched Blair leave the station at around 5:00pm. He didnít look well when he came in and just mumbled a hello and went to work. Simon gave me a funny look when he came in and only got a nod of the kids head when he greeted him. I looked at the clock and it was almost 7:00. I should get up and go home but the loft isnít the same without him there. I donít even know where he lives now. I thought he would come back to the loft after Mexico and was quite stunned at the airport when he left in a cab. Simon asked me that night if I spoke to the kid on the plane and I said I didnít know what to say to him. I thought Simon was gonna deck me right there in the middle of the parking lot. I looked up as Simon came out of his office with jacket in hand. He looked surprised to see me. He came over and sat on the edge of my desk.
"Why arenít you at home?"
"IÖuhÖI was thinking about Sandburg."
"Ah God Jim, the kid looked awful today. He has lost so much weightÖweight I might add he can not afford to lose. Öand what are you going to do?"
"I donít know what to do Simon; I donít even know where he has been staying for the past week and a half. He doesnít even talk to me anymore unless Iím asking him a question. God Iím so worried about him."
"So tell him exactly what youíve just told me that would be a good start."
"Simon I donít even know where to find him."
"Christ Ellison, youíre a detectiveÖdo some good old fashion detective work youíll find him if you try hard enough. Now donít take it the wrong way but heís good for you Jim you fit together and right now I bet he really needs someone." Simon stood up and put on his jacket. "Call me if you need anything Jim." As Jim watched his Captain leave a feeling came over him. He was suddenly very worried about Sandburg. Something was very wrong with his guide he could feel it and he had to find him now. He picked up the phone and started a long string of phone calls. Finally after an hour and a half of calling he spoke to a young girl Mary who just about knocked him on his feet. She was a TA at Rainier and was helping Blair until he could come back to work. She told him that Blair had spent very little time at Rainier and was living in a ratty motel room he nearly fainted when she gave him the address. It was in the worst part of town he swore silently to himself and thanked the girl and hung up. He grabbed his jacket and took off. It took him a little more than 20 minutes to reach the place. It was awful he pulled up next to Blairís Volvo in front of the room Sandburg had rented and walked up to room #07. He dialed his hearing up and could hear Sandburgís heartbeat. It was fast, too fast for his liking. He knocked but there was no answer. He tried the door knob as was surprised to find it open he walked in and cringed when he was just how bad the room looked. He saw the door to the small bathroom open and walked over to it and his heart about stopped. Sandburg was curled around the toilet with his head on the seat Jim dialed down his sense of smell as the smell of vomit assaulted him. He quickly walked over to him and pulled him up god he was burning up he picked Sandburg up into his arms and brought him over to the bed and gently placed him on it then pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911 requesting an ambulance. He ran to the bathroom not finding any towels or washcloths he pulled out his handkerchief and wet it in cold water and ran back to Sandburg he ran the cool cloth over his heated skin pushing back the curls that were stuck to his forehead. "Damn it Chief Iím so sorry, so sorry." He patted Blairís cheek "Can you hear me come on Chief wake up." Blair just moaned but didnít come to. Jim heard the sirens and went over to the door. He opened it and a few minutes later the paramedics came in he quickly told them about his symptoms and that he had drowned a little over two weeks ago. They got him hooked up to an I.V. and placed him on a gurney and loaded him in the ambulance. Jim closed the door behind him and followed in his truck. He called Simon as he followed the screaming ambulance and told him how he had found Blair and they were on their way to the hospital. He felt relieved when Simon told him he would meet him there. He pulled in behind the ambulance and got out but the paramedic said he couldnít leave his truck there. DAMNIT! He jumped back in and quickly parked it and ran inside. He dialed up his hearing and found them working on his partner in treatment room 2. As he walked in the medical team looked up and asked him to leave.
"Heís my partner." Was all he could think to say. A nurse came over to him and said in a gentle voice. "I understand youíre concerned for your friend but youíll have to wait out side. There are some papers youíll have to fill out and the doctor will come out when heís done here. Believe me the best thing you could do for him right now is to wait outside."
Jimís shoulders slumped and he nodded and turned to go but turned back to the nurse. "UmÖwhatís your name?"
Jim smiled "Blair thatís my partner would love thatÖnurse Betty, please take good care of him heís been through a lot."
She smiled kindly at him and said "donít worry; weíll take real good care of him now go on." Jim walked out and was handed a clip board with forms. Just as he finished filling out the forms he looked up to return them and saw Simon walk in.
"What happen Jim?"
"Heís sick Simon; he was lying on the floor of the toilet unconscious when I found him. Heís in pretty bad shape with a fever of at least 104 and heís congested."
"Well itís a good thing you found him heís in good hands now, theyíll take care of himÖhow are you doing, you donít look so good."
"God Simon, I have messed this up so badly, I donít know what to say to him we havenít even spoken about anythingÖhe comes to the station he helps me with the paper work, my senses and we donít really talk he hasnít said anything to me other than work related, how can I fix this?"
"Talk to him Jim, I told you before just sit him down and talk to him really talk to him."
Jim sighed and nodded his head. He had to fix this. Sandburg was the most important person in his life and he has treated him so badly; how do I make up for this. Christ Sandburg donít you know that I need you? They sat there for a about a half an hour when the doctor came out and walked up to them. She was a tall woman with blonde hair
"Are you here with Mr. Sandburg?"
Jim nodded and stood up shaking the doctorís hand.
"Yes, heís my partner, how is he? Is he okay? Whatís wrong with him?"
"Jim relax a minute and let Dr?"
Simon looked to the doctor and the woman replied.
Simon smiled and shook her hand she was a strikingly attractive woman tall about 5í9 with beautiful blond hair she smiled at Simon and said with a smile.
"Not all blondes are dumb."
This got a chuckle out of Simon.
Then she looked back at Jim and saw his concern and worry and got down to business then gestured for them to sit down.
"Well Mr. Sandburg has a stomach virus, heís dehydrated and very weak he also has a touch of pneumonia we started him on antibiotics and cool saline to get his fever down. Iím concerned about how high it is. Itís a good thing you brought him in when you did his fever is 104.6 Iím worried about seizures but well cross that bridge if and when we come to it, right now he needs plenty of rest and fluids. Iím going to admit him for a few days Iíd like to keep an eye on him until we get the fever down and watch that stomach virus too. Heís going to need help when heís released I donít want him to be alone for a while he will be very weak and need someone to watch over in case his fever returns it can happen with pneumonia."
Jim looked at her and said in a serious voice.
"He wonít be alone I can take care of him, heís my partner."
She smiled at him with kind eyes and said "you can see him before we send him up to his room is you like".
Jim nodded his head and looked at Simon who said heíd wait for him then he followed the doctor to the exam room to see his friend. He was so shocked when he saw him. He was lying on the bed with a sheet covering his bare torso and he had lost so much weight. God wasnít the kid eating? He looked awful, well Ellison how did you expect him to look? He is very sick God Chief I could have prevented this if I just spoke to you. SHIT! He leaned forward as he heard Blair mumble. He leaned down and his eyes filled with tears as he heard his weaken guide babble.
"Needs a partner he can trustÖnÖnot you, doesnít tÖtÖtrust you doesnít nÖnÖneed you, should have never come bÖback should have dÖdied betÖbeÖbetter that way."
Jim sank down on the side of bed careful of the I.V. and pushed Blairís hair away from his sweaty forehead careful of the oxygen running under his nose. He whispered to him softly.
"Oh god no Blair youíve got it all wrong, Iím so sorry, so sorry for everything for making you think that. I was so wrong, so wrong I do need you I trust you with my life. Just get better and youíll see. Together we can fix this I know we can just wake up and get better, God I need you Chief, more than I ever needed anyone."
Tears fell slowly down Jimís cheeks and he held his guides hand and stroked his hair. He heard someone clear their throat and looked to see a nurse blushing to see the touching moment and he got up and turned to her.
"WhatÖ" he cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes and started again, "what room will he be in"?
"Iíll let you know as soon as he is settled."
Jim thanked her and watched as two orderlies helped the nurse gather up the IVs and wheel him away he stood there trying to get his emotions under control when he heard someone at the door. He looked up in the concerned brown eyes of his Captain. Simon came over to him and placed his hand on Jimís shoulder. He shook it a bit and then gently said "heíll be okay Jim, heís in good hands now and heíll get better. I do anything I can to help, just let me know."
Jim nodded unable to speak past the lump in his throat he cleared his throat and croaked out "thanks Simon that means a lot to me".
Fifteen minutes later the nurse returned and told him Blair was in room 402 and he could sit with him for a bit but visiting hours would be over soon. Jim nodded and Simon told him to go and call him if there was any change or if he needed anything Jim thanked him and left. When he got up to Blairís room he grabbed a chair and sat by his side he held his hand and spoke gently to him. Telling him how important he was to him to wake up and things would get better he swore it. Jim frowned when he stoked Blairís head, the kid felt like he was on fire. Blair moaned and opened his eyes he looked blearily around the room, as if he was searching for something. Jim leaned down closer, "Chief" he said gently and Blair looked up and him and tried to sit up Jim pushed him down gently and Blair was almost frantic trying to sit up and grabbing the oxygen from his nose "whoa easy whatís wrong Chief, no donít pull that out" he pulled his hand away from the oxygen "GonnaÖbeÖsick" Jim stood up quickly and grabbed the closest thing to him, the waste basket and helped Blair roll on his side and the younger man started to regurgitate he felt his heart tighten as his young friend suffered through dry heaves. When he was finished Jim got up and ran to the door asking for help when he got back to Blairís side the younger man was turning over again suffering another bout of dry heaves. The nurse walked in and rushed right back out again. The doctor came in a few minutes later as Blair continued to suffer through dry heaves. She left and came back a moment later with a syringe. "Whatís that?" Asked Jim. "Itís something to help control the" she never got a chance to finish as Blair started seizing Jim jumped up "Jesus, oh God help him"! The doctor shouted for help and two nursed came running in and she asked Jim to wait out side. Jim found himself forced outside to listen to what was happening to his partner. Jim found himself doing something he hadnít done in a very, very long time. He prayed. God hasnít he been through enough please God, please Iíll do anything just let him get better, let me make things right between us I canít lose him not now weíve been through so much already Iím begging you. A while later the doctor came out looked tired she motioned for Jim to follow her and she lead him to an office and asked him to sit down. Jim found he was frightened God please let him be okay. She looked at him and smiled reassuringly and said "Iíve given him something for the nausea and were going to put him on cooling mat to help bring his fever down quicker his fever was 105 and thatís what sent him into a seizure Iíve also given him something to bring down his fever and raised the oxygen level. Heíll be monitored closely for the next few hours but I do believe once his fever breaks he will recover we just have to watch that fever doesnít get any higher." She looked at Jim and saw how tired and worn down he was "you know you should go home and get some rest, you wonít do your friend any good if you pass out from exhaustion. Heís going to need you when he wakes up." Jim started to protest, "No what if he wakes up and heís alone or if he has another seizure? No better if I stay with him, please donít make me go he needs me now." She was touched by how much he cared for the younger man. "Well I guess it couldnít hurt under one condition." Jim looked at her and replied quickly, "Just name it."
"Iíll have a roll away bed brought in and you get some rest." Jim nodded his head and smiled his thanks. "I can do that." She stood up and said, "I wont lie to you heís got a rough few days ahead of him, its bad enough that he has pneumonia but with a stomach virus on top of that he gonna be pretty miserable for a while." Jim looked at her concerned look and reassured her "I can take it I will be there for him for what ever he needs." This seemed to satisfy her and she nodded. "Okay Iíll have that bed sent in and I mean it you better get some rest, but first you should get something to eat first." When it looked like Jim was going to protest she gave him a look that sent a shiver down his backÖshit! She looked meaner than him when he was questioning a suspect. He held up his hands a relented "okay, okay Iíll go to the cafeteria and get something quick, page me if he wakes up while Iím gone." "Consider it done." Jim thanked her and quickly left to grab a something to eat. The cafeteria had very few people and he grabbed a ham sandwich with a cup of coffee and sat down to eat after he paid. He found he was hungry as he started to eat and it was pretty good. He almost ran back to Blairís room when he was finished. As promised there was the roll away bed set up next to Sandburgís bed he went over to him and stroked his hair back "Iím right here Chief okay, Iím not going anywhere" he sat back on his bed and laid down and monitored Sandburg once more with his senses and fell asleep listening to his partners heartbeat. He woke a short time later to someone moaning and sat up quickly when he realized it was Sandburg he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and went over to Sandburg. He sat on the side of his bed and his heart ached when he saw how miserable the younger man looked. When Sandburg looked up to see Jim hovering over him he looked shocked to see him there. Jim felt sad that Sandburg would think he would be anywhere else but here at his friendís side.
"Whatís going on Chief? Where does it hurt?"
Blair licked his lips and in a weak voice replied, "Am I in the hospital?" Jim gave him a sad smile "afraid so, IÖuh went to your hotel room to talk to you and found you passed out in the bathroom I brought you here and theyíve been trying to get your fever down you had a seizure it was so high and it turns out you have pneumonia and a stomach virus on top of that let me get the doctor." As he got up Blair grabbed his arm. "No, no thereís no need to call the doctor, Iím not in a lot of pain just uncomfortable." "But the doctor can help you so you can rest." Blair just nodded and watched Jim call for the doctor. A few minutes later the doctor came in and smiled at Blair.
"Well Mr. Sandburg, itís nice to see you awake Iím Dr. Pratti and I have been treating you. Do you have any questions?"
Blair nodded and asked,
"When can I leave?"
The doctor almost fell through the floorÖshe couldnít believe he wanted to leave didnít he know how sick he was? She shook her head.
"Not for a few days you were very dehydrated and I have you on antibiotics through IV for the pneumonia until I can switch you to oral meds and you have a pretty nasty stomach virus. I canít give you anything for the stomach virus because itís a viral infection and nothing would really help it just has to work its way out of your system. So I would like to keep you here for a few days to monitor you."
Blair sighed and looked defeated. "Okay I guess Iím here for a few days. Thanks doctor I just want to sleep I feel so tired."
"Well thatís to be expected once you start getting better that feeling will go away."
Blair nodded and got comfortable as the doctor continued to exam him.
"Well Mr. SandburgÖ"
"No just Blair please."
She smiled and continued "okay Blair just rest and in the morning weíll try some tea and toast to see if you can hold that down and take it from there." He just nodded at her and said goodnight when she walked out. Jim sat next to him and Blair didnít know what to sayÖhe didnít know what to do. He didnít have to wait long as Jim took his hand.
"ChiefÖSandÖBlair, God I donít know where to start."
Blair looked concerned.
"Whatís wrong Jim is it something with your senses."
God he always thinks of other people instead of himself.
"No chief my senses are fine."
As Blair was going to say something further Jim placed his hand over his mouth and silenced him. He took a deep breath and looked at him.
"Look Blair, Iím not good with words here okay I need you to know that Iím so sorry for everything" his eyes welled up and a lump formed in his throat but he continued, "I wantÖno I need you to know that you are the most important person in my life. I would probably be in a padded room somewhere with out you or I would have eaten my gun a long time ago. You are my best friend I know I havenít been a good friend to you and I made you doubt our friendship oh God you donít know how sorry I am for that and Iím so sorryÖ" he let out a sob but pushed on he had to get this all out now, "when I said I needed a partner I could trust I was so out of line thereÖI donít know why I said half the things I did I guess it was those fear based responses you wrote about but you are necessary; I need you in my life you are the most important person in my life. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"
He was shocked to see Blair crying. Oh God this is bad. "Chief?"
Blair just shook his head and took a deep breath well as deep as he could but it sent him into a coughing fit. Jim helped him sit up a bit and held him through the bout of coughing until it past. It left him shaking and weak but Blair looked deep into Jimís eyes and in a soft weak voice he said, "I didnít think you cared about me anymoreÖI didnít think you needed me and it hurt so bad Jim I didnít know where to go or what to do IÖyouíre my life Jim you are the first person who ever truly cared about what happened to me, you gave me a home man, the first stable home I ever had you donít know what that meant to me. To have a place to come home to and have someone there who cared whether I was late or if I had eaten I never knew what that felt like before and it hurt so much to lose it. I love you Jim youíre the brother I never had but always wanted. Iím sorry for anything Iíve done that hurt you and Iím so glad you wanted to talk to me IÖIÖ" he couldnít continue because he started to cry. Sobs wracked his weak frame as he let out all of the hurt and misery Jim gathered him close and held him while he cried shedding a few tears of his own, once Blair had calmed down a bit Jim removed the oxygen and took a tissue to clean him up and then gently replaced the nasal oxygen. He wiped his own face and sat back and Blair started to talk again.
"Yes I forgive you Jim, how could I not?"
Jim released a breath he didnít know he was holding and looked at Blair with sad but hopeful eyes.
"We are going to get pass this I promise you Iíll be here for what ever you need. The loft is your home and I had no right kicking you out willÖwill you come back, will you come back home?"
Blair let out a sob.
"I want to Jim, I really do but I canít go through that again it would kill me it was almost unbearable this time around."
"Never, I swear to you it will never happen again. I know there is a lot of shit we have to sort out with this Sentinel business and I donít know what happened this time around but we need to go over it you can run all the tests you want, because I donít ever want to go through this again either. I know I donít say it but I love you too Chief, I love you too."
Jim watched a few tears slip down Blairís cheeks and when the younger man held his arms open Jim went to them and held him close. "So does this mean youíll come back?"
Jim felt Blair nod his head and he let out a sob of his own and held him tighter God how he needed this man in his life.
"Weíll get through this together buddy."
They let go of each other and Jim got Blair settled comfortably and spoke softly to him as he rubbed his head and watched him slip into sleep. Jim made a promise to himself that he would always look out for his friend, this sweet gentle creature who had such a kind heart and was so good to him and everyone around him. God he was so lucky to have such a good friend in his life God truly blessed him when he sent him Blair Sandburg thank you God. He would be there to help him get through this and get better God gave him a second chance and he wasnít about to waste it. Jim smiled at the sleeping guide and felt exhausted all of a sudden. He went to his own cot and pulled it as close to the bed as possible and got comfortable and reached over and took Blairís hand and felt sleep claim him. Hand in hand Sentinel and Guide slept, resting to wake to a new day full of love and hope and promise.