Burden Of Guilt
* * *
Simon looked at the calendar one more time. This was it, the day he had been dreading for the past week. The anniversary of sorts that he never ever wanted to remember again, and yet knew he would never forget. It was a year to the date since that day at the fountain. The day when a friend of his has been killed because he hadn't done his job. It was a guilt he knew he would always carry and yet wished he could put behind him.
Looking out his office windows he saw Sandburg, smiling and laughing, joking even with his now fellow officers. It was as if he didn't realize what this day was, what it meant, how lucky he really was to just be breathing. But then, as if he felt eyes on him, Blair turned and looked straight at Simon and that one glance sent a dagger of pain through him. Blair didn't have to say it; he never would say it. But Simon knew. Simon knew that Blair blamed him just as much, if not more then, Jim for the accident. Since the academy Blair now knew, if he hadn't before, just how badly Banks had screwed him over.
Just how much he had dropped the ball.
With a deep sigh and a weary heart, Simon turned away from the bullpen and tried to focus on the papers in front of him. Promising himself that there will be no more screw-ups, he would keep his mind where it should be. Right here, right now, right with the people that need him most.
He would never forget it, not as long as he had Blair Sandburg in front of him to silently remind him of the one time he had.