The hospital machines kept their chorus on tune as Blair sat and looked at Jim. He had been sitting and looking at him for days. It had been at least a week since he had given up talking to the still man. His throat hurt from the over use and it had made no difference anyway. He was the only one now that came here to visit. Maybe it wasnít so much of a visit as a deathwatch, a silent vigil of sorts. It didnít matter what you called it, it all added up to the same thing. He didnít want Jim to be alone in those final moments. It wouldnít be fair. It wouldnít be right.
It hadnít been right to let the guy who pulled the trigger go. It hadnít been right to see Simon Banks step down because of the botched investigation. It wasnít right that Jimís family already considered him dead.
Nothing was right anymore.
Blair sat back in the warn hospital chair and looked around the room. The get-well cards starting to look warn hanging on the wall. There were no flowers anymore; they had long since died and no one saw the point in sending fresh ones. The room was dark by most standards. Night had fallen and Blair hadnít felt like turning the light on in the private room. No one needed to see him grieve for the loss of his friend and one time police partner. No one needed to see the guideís grief over the loss of his sentinel. No one would truly understand that.
It was so senseless, all of it. As Blair thought over that day for the millionth time he came to the same conclusion Ė it was senseless. The perp hadnít needed to shoot; Jim wasnít even headed into the house. Rafe and Brown could have waited outside for just a few more minutes. Besides why the hell had Jim stood up anyway! He had to known he would have been in the line of fire leaving the cover of the back of the truck like that. All of it an almost comedy of errors all resulting in the same thing. Jim laying in the hospital with a gun shot wound to the head while the jerk who pulled the trigger walking free.
Maybe one day he would fully understand the justice system. Maybe one day when he didnít feel the pain he felt right now as he touched the cold hand of James Ellison. When the rage passed of seeing his friend waste away into nothing. Too bad that day would never come. He knew in his heart that when Jim died he would too.
Sitting back in the chair he took Jimís hand in his own again if only to warm it. "Whenever youíre ready big guy." He whispered, his eyes filling with tears. It was all up to Jimís body now.
He was still sitting in shock when the nurse came in to check Jimís vitals. Staring that their joined hands a slight smile on his face.
The nurse followed Blairís eyes and noticed that for the first time Mr. Ellisonís hand was tightly holding Blairís back as if he were never letting go. Quickly she dashed out of the room to call the doctor in finally there was a step on the road to recovery.